So its been a while since I updated this - my apologies, but I do have a legitimate reason. Yes, I have footage:
As some of you sharp-eyed viewers may notice, the chap started to indicate his intention to turn right a little late. You may also notice that you can see his indicator flash whilst I'm behind him. The end result is that we collided as he turned in front of me. I am not one to lay blame, and I'm also not an idiot. When he began his turn in front of me, I think I was watching his wheels, and I must have missed the first blink of his indicator. I don't know how else to explain it. If I hadn't had the video (in fact, I continued to record after the collision, and I stated it as truth), I would be sure he didn't start indicating until he started his turn. By the time I realised what he was doing, and I processed what my next move should be, we were together.
There's no point in a frame-by-frame analysis of the event - I think it was a combination of rider inexperience and driver inattention. Either way, it still hurts.
So the bike suffered a bit - a broken right hand mirror, a snapped brake hand lever, and a twisted handlebar. After the collision, the police parked and locked up the bike for me, and I later went to retrieve it. I was able to ride the bike (with rear brakes only!) to a safer area, about half a mile away. I rode around for about half an hour trying to find the motorcycle parking bays that were marked on the local council's map, however I couldn't find any.
So I ended up parking it in a permit bay, expecting to get a parking fine.
The next evening, after work, I drove out to the bike in my car, and wheeled it along the pavement to a proper motorcycle parking bay in Lavender Hill. I was pleasantly surprised to learn the next day when I called the council that I had not received a penalty charge notice!
So the bike sat there, chained up, waiting for me to repair it. It wasn't until Sunday (the collision was on a Monday) that I was able to go out and have a go at repairs. I was able to replace the handlebars, and the mirrors, and the brake lever. However, in my zeal, I managed to snap the mirror mount on the left side, which also holds the clutch lever. The result was the clutch wasn't quite acting properly - it wouldn't fully disengage because the bracket would bend. I managed to ride it home - changing gear was a chore though. Sometimes it wouldn't engage, so I would have to give the gear selector a good kick to get it in gear - and the gearbox would protest with a bang and jump forward like it had been kicked like a dog. Equally, when waiting at junctions, the bike would come close to stalling if I didn't engage neutral - just holding the clutch lever in wasn't enough. So, here it is, more than a week after the initial incident, and I'm still not riding. I don't want to destroy my gearbox. A replacement bracket is on its way....
As for me, my shoulder took the brunt, along with my ribs. I had broken my ribs years before, and it felt the same. My left ankle was a bit sore as well. I was in a bit of shock afterward, which I suppose is understandable. I was carted off to the A&E by the police, and the Doctor examined me and found me to be bruised and battered but nothing properly broken - my ribs likely cracked. No X-rays for me; I was shuffled out the door and on my way home.
Now for the sort-of interesting part: how I feel about it and how it has affected me.
The incident really knocked me for six. My confidence had really taken a hit. I was bombarding myself with doubt - why had I not seen him? Why did I react so late? Did I think it would be okay and he would just naturally give way to me? And worst of all - if I pass my test, will I crash with my wife riding pillion? What if I hurt her?
That really, really set me back. I just kept imagining how I would feel if I was responsible for her being injured whilst riding with me. I was terrified of the possibility. I kept running scenarios in my brain - an endless torrent of images - crying, pain, fear. I was dreading it.
When I went to repair my bike, at the side of the road on a cold Sunday morning, I put my head down and get into 'mechanic' mode - thinking only of repairing the bike, and making it roadworthy. It wasn't until I had finished that I had to confront my fears. It sounds like something out of a therapy session or a bad novel, but there I was, helmet on, bike idling, and needing to get back home. It took a minute or so, I won't lie. But I pushed the fears aside, dropped it into first, and let out the clutch. I rode down the street and nothing happened.
As I started to ride, it dawned on me what had occurred. I was riding in a way that felt...new. I felt better, more in control, more aware of what was going on around me. Its hard to describe; I felt I now had respect for the other road users - not that I didn't before, more like I could respect what they were capable of, and what they weren't capable of. It actually made be believe that I am now in a better position to ride with my wife as pillion.
I read an interview with a well-known London rider, and he mentioned that he doesn't let any of the driver's actions get to him. It can be easy to get enraged by the indignity, arrogance, and dangerous actions of car and van drivers. I have often found myself fuming at people. I have also found it is not worth the energy - I will most likely let them just go about their business, and let them be dangerous to other people. Sometimes, though, it is hard to let go of it.
I would seem to me that my wee crash has taught me a very valuable lesson. I cannot afford to be aggressive or wilful. I think my riding style was to look at a situation and think 'I can fit through there'; now its more 'I might fit through there, but there's a possibility that car hasn't seen me. Better to watch what he does from back here'. My progress is still significant; I can still filter through slow moving traffic, and I can get to the front of the queue at a red light. And I still get to enjoy the awesomeness that is riding a bike. In reality, I shouldn't be in any sort of hurry to get to work - that's less time on the bike, which is far more enjoyable. And I was very lucky in the fact that I wasn't involved in a more serious crash, where I could have been properly injured - I have no broken bones and I've still got all my fingers and toes.
As I wait for the opportunity to ride again, I get more and more excited about it. I honestly feel like I've achieved the next level of riding; I've learned proper respect for the road users around me. It's not just about courtesy, its about being defensive and maintaining one's space on the road in a safe way, and being ever vigilant.
While my video may not be the longest, or the most interesting, I hope it sort of lets people understand that this can happen in the blink of an eye, it can hurt you, and it can make you doubt your ability. I think its important to get back in the saddle as quickly as possible, and to continue enjoying the experience of riding. There is nothing like it. Now, I have to convince my wife that it's okay....
